Atonement

"The saddest people in the world always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless." - Robin Williams

Inhale 2 3 4, hold 2,exhale 2 3 4. Inhale 2 3...
Just breath, she says... Just remember to breath.

She holds back tears as she gasps for breath...
Letting them flow only means defeat.
"Remember little girl, no one is coming to save you..."

They all have each other,
A well oiled machine of open lines,
Still all she got was, "not now", "A thi funi", "it's not you" and a good old nothing as a reminder...
"Breathe little girl... No one is coming to save you!"

"I did this for your own good!" she screams,
Still all alone for they made her an island...
Drowning with the desire to submit to them,
Every door was shut!
She didn't belong.

They described the opposite twins, she labeled it crazy.
Broken to the core, she allows the tide to determine the path
She was not ready to face the MAY BEs...

Possessed with sadness, the twins influenced the shift..
I'm either the glue, or the destroyer,
The beginning or the end,
The loved or the unloved,
The sinner or the punished,
The prisoner or the jailer.
Capacity for both was like 2nd nature.

"...I wish I was selfish. I wish I could say no. Wish I never felt compelled. I wish I had said something... wish I had fought. I wish I didn't remember the faces. That it was all because of love, wished it was never resentment. I wish she had listened, maybe I wouldn't exist. They wouldn't have to suffer the agony of having this mind... They just will not have to suffer..."

For he knew her... grew up together.
Broke each other and still refused to let go.
They continued to support ach other,
Yet screamed at each other whenever there was an audience.
For she had made him feel like a fool,
And they do say karma screws you twice over.
Still, she looked in his eyes,
Took a knee to the gut.
Hunched over, resigned...
"let what ever may be, be. Use me as your sacrifice, as atonement. Punish me in this life, work me like a slave. I will pay whatever price is demanded. Work hard if it not enough, but let it be me"

They knew her fear... "Don't bring them to this life or the next, to atone for what I did in this life. I will bear that cross in this life".

Looking up, she smiled at him...

"Let this be atonement..."