My diary

"Trapped in the emotions of my own making...

 Tears I feel, yet I love you is what escapes my lips...

 Tell me why do we feel if it hurts to do so...

 Why do I feel when it hurts to do so...?"

What makes me stronger?

For a long time I was fed with Cipralex,
Told to sleep on Adco-Zopimed...
Alternate with Trepiline for a more filling day...
Who would have thought I would one day depend on Sandoz fluoxetine just to smile all day
Clearly not the life I envisioned for myself.

Curled up on my bed,

Trying not to let my life pass me by,
I am a strong being I say,
I am here for a purpose I “believe”,
Yet tomorrow creeps right by me and refuses to listen to my chants.

‘I used to believe...!’ I scream...

Crumbling to my knees as my feet refuse to hold me up.
Head hung with shame for all I have left is an outline of belief with nothing solid to hold on to...
 

Blood used to run through my veins

Pump through my heart...
Now I smile with no life in my eyes b’cause my mind has been programmed to do so,
Yet my heart feels nothing.

You ask why I still ask tomorrow to wait and listen...

I keep believing that one day I will believe,
And when I do believe,
Tomorrow will be here to see me through today.

My diary

Jan 2012

As I grow older, through what I experiance, be it first hand or observed, these are the little things about me I want to remember...

Sometimes it's a yes... sometimes, I don't know

The heart wants what it wants... So I have been told.
What they dont tell you is that sometimes you know what it is it wants, and sometimes what it wants doesn't make sense... Well, it is what it wants right?